If you can be anything at all, why not choose the one thing that matters? ... Your inner desire.
So much of life is pulling us to not be ourselves. But what if we were able to resist that? What if, knowing that our time on this Earth is of limited and finite duration, we said, "Fuck it," and just decided to be who we are? What would that look like for you?
I think it's important to look to our "shadows" for this information of what we really desire to be ... What are the things we do when no one is looking? Is it singing? Performing? Dressing up? (Or even dressing down, perhaps, like I do. Haha.) What is the thing that you secretly enjoy, but would perhaps feel embarrassed telling someone else about? These are all great ways to find/figure out the parts of yourself still wanting to be expressed.
Denial is costly, not only in terms of daily energy, but in terms of life-satisfaction, too.
Here's another good neon arrow pointing you towards you: What is the thing that - if someone suggested you try it - you would immediately scramble back away from, like a cat from a bath? What is the thing that if someone suggested you do it, you would say, "No no no, that is WAY too egotistical! I can't! I could never!"?
That. That thing. The thing that triggers that kind of self-rejection. Right there. Look at that. Because rejection-of-ego is always a great indicator of something you are actively in the process of disowning. If you think it is too "ego-y" to do something, then that points to some part of yourself you are currently - right now, every single day - spending a whole lot of force on trying not to be.
Always feel like you don't have enough energy? Well, like fracking (which is bad, we know, but suits the analogy), all that useful and usable energy is actually trapped in the bedrock of your own petrified being, many layers down below your feet. So when you actively resist the hidden parts of yourself, well, that requires energy. And wherever you constantly look away from yourself, trying to disown some part of yourself or another, well, that takes energy, too. Denial is costly, not only in terms of daily energy, but in terms of life-satisfaction, too.
You have a life waiting to be lived, and the energy to do it is already right there, just below your feet. You just need to stop resisting, see yourself for who you are, accept what you see, and then start dancing or singing that energy into existence. And by so doing maybe for the first time in your life your sails will finally be tacked into the wind, giving you a huge whoosh as the energy (which your entire life was always pushing against you) is suddenly caught in your sails, propelling you forward.
So, you already have the energy to do everything you want. You just don't know it. It's trapped inside of you, waiting - wanting - to be used. And only you can free it.
OK, that's good enough for now,
~ Quest Barely, all!
_________________________________________________
Kemson Cooper is the creator of QuestBarely.com, a site about using the body as a path to explore the Self. He is also the author / artist of "Love Yourself ~ A Body of Work" (perhaps the world's first naked self-empowerment book)